Teragawa's posterousness

Charles once told us, 'you idiots share a brain.' We agree.

“hey mike, you know we've been noticing you've been having a lot of problems lately, you know? You need to maybe get away."

Japan1

For the last decade, I've headed up holiday celebrations for my family - all the decorating, meal planning and cooking...heck, I even have a service set of Deruta for 12...however, over the last five years, holidays have evolved into a source of stress...long story short, all the fun of the holidays has been stripped away and they are now just a time where me and H have serious discussions trying to figure out what we should do; it's a difficult mix of aptathy on his part, and a real want on my part to cast a wider net of who we consider family.
 
I'm so browbeaten from 2011, that at the end of the year, I declared I'd take a 1-year break from celebrating all holidays. A's birthday will consist of a lowkey visith with his great-grandmother and aunt, our original plans to hit up Maui and Molokai in February have been moved to Thanksgiving week; and Christmas, this year, will be spent at home, relaxing. Anyone that wants to spend time with the kiddo is more than welcome to come visit, but it must not interfere with the collective and wonderful calm that the four of here on 36th Avenue crew exist in when we don't have to manage job pressure or complicated situations that really shouldn't affect me.
/rant
 
So we have 11 days off in February, and, thanks to the generousity of my parents and an old friend, we have the ability to travel as a couple, just the two of us, and the ability to travel with a level of flexibility and potentially, a level of comfort. Where...where shall we go?
 
Stay tuned.

It's a family affair....

What a crazy time of the year! Our lovely friends, and day-caretakers of A, take a well deserved 2-week vacation at the end of the year....which means while I'm working, I need to move to my parents' house  -> and so the chaos begins.  While I admittedly love the convenience of child care provided by grandparents that can't say no, being away from home....just sucks.
Normally, it's just a three-day thing...however, the way things worked out this year, I was not to be home for a full week. On top of that, I've been battling bronchitis for weeks, work was busier beyond belief....and had plans, plans, plans to make....we took off for Ventura on Thursday, quick visit with H's family, back up on the 24th to see mine...literally created a shopping list for Christmas dinner on the drive back up...made Xmas dinner almost singlehandedly, then off to see the Clippers (ok, so it was the Warriors opening day, but we were really there to see Chris Paul).
On the 18th, I said to H, who was in a bit of a panic about the holidays, "look, it's a matter of living until the 26th," and I really meant it. Not that any of what we were to endure wasn't wanted, enjoyable and/or just downright pleasant....but for two people who are barely managing to keep it all in check, five days living off our routine, well...it truly had the potential to kill us.

I am happy to report that the efforts were worth the while.

Notes on the last four days:
1. H's extended family is wonderful. They're real, they're genuine, and I truly feel fortunate to have these rare opportunities to spend time with these folks.
2. Predicated on item #1: A's next birthday will be celebrated with his great-grandmother. The fact that she couldn't be present for his first birthday was such a point of disgust and disappointment for me.  For as long as she lives, I won't let that happen again.
3. Counter to point 1 and 2....next year, we're going to be a bit selfish about the holidays. Though, family: if you're willing to travel to Mexico and/or Hawaii, well, then spend the holidays with us. I'll even pay for your dinner.
4. My immediate family can be annoying as heck, but at the end of the day, we get that we're all we've got, and that suits us just fine.

I love family, but man, I am exhausted. Very much looking forward to seven days of no obligations. Just good friends, good food, good times...and sleep.

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A laundry list of thoughts

This Friday night, we had the lovely happenstance of my mother volunteering (unprovoked) to care for little ‘Lon. But what to do on a Friday night in Fremont?  Nowhere good to eat (and anywhere worth its salt would need a reservation – so the last minute thing was a no-go). Wine bar? Eh, not one close and/or good, and somehow, the concept of driving to drink seems…strange. So off to Union Landing we went.

So…I hate going to the movies.

Let me clarify: I LOVE movies. I just hate going TO the movie theater. It might be a result of living in SF for 15 years, where a trip to the movies meant either braving the bus, paying for a cab, or driving, good god, driving into neighborhoods where it might take 30-40 minutes to drive over and find parking, or, even more frustrating, driving over and paying for parking ($10+) and still having search the lot for an open space.

Then, once you get there, if it is a first run movie, unless you’re there a half hour early, be prepared to sit THISCLOSE to the screen…and even if you do get good seats, the seats themselves are filthy – not to mention the stupid kid kicking your seat behind you and the obnoxious person next to you who brought a smelly burrito into the theater.

New thought:

So, while I’m on this tirade of being a total curmudgeon, I’ll contemplate the word “passive.” Recently, somebody used this word to describe me – frankly, I was so taken aback by it, that all I could do was stare at this person, in stunned silence.  Honestly, I think, to paraphrase from the Princess Bride (Spaniard to Vizzini), I do not think that person knows what that word means.  

Am I shy? I’ve struggled with that aspect of my personality for all my life. Reticent? Yep. Introverted? Absolutely. Passive aggressive? Sadly, at times, yes. Passive? No. Never. Not in my personal or professional life. Ever.

Last new thought:

The planner in me loves dinner parties. When I lived in SF, I threw bi-annual crab feasts, Christmas for those who had out of town families, birthday parties, brunches… I have service for 12 and buffet plates.  Thanksgiving the granddaddy of them all…and for the past decade, I’ve been at the helm of the planning and execution, and loved it every year.

 In recent years, the holiday has become more of a source of stress, so now it is no longer a large celebration; rather, it has evolved into a gathering of my immediate family.  And while I am sad that I no longer plan and execute Thanksgiving, other traditions are emerging that are lovely, and in some ways, better.

Photos of the weekend are posted here. My family, my extended family…is a scrappy band of the best people you’ll ever meet.

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Hollywood meets the Point

H intially bemoaned the fact that he had to work from 5 - midnight due to a launch...which was quickly replaced with glee as a swell rolled in. Never mind that I've been working my tail off, only to come home to single parenthood...and...back to work until collapsing off to sleep. Add insult to injury, today, there was an open casting call for extras to participate in a movie chroncling the short life of a local named Jay, and his mentor, Frosty. Hundreds of potentials and their surfboards showed up at the crack of dawn. I would have been there, pink 8'6 Yater in tow, but taking a day off right now would be...so so very much the wrong thing to do.

It was quite the scene for our quiet little neighborhood. Honestly, unless you surf, you might miss Pleasure Point altogether. In fact, I think the most people might know of the area is that it is approxmimately mile 4.2 -  4.6 on the Wharf to Wharf route. So even though this is a small production, in relative scale, this was huge for the denizens of the Point. At 6:30 am, the most traffic we'd hear is the garbage collectors...and that's only on Mondays. Today it was a bit of a mob scene that took over our neighborhood for most of the day. 

It was a nice way to wind down a hard work week, saying hello to familiar faces and quietly giggiling about the teacher from San Jose who played hooky...petting the cattle dogs whose owners I don't know...but alas, it was time to get back to work. As I navigated a stroller bound A and myself through the crowd, I heard someone say, "hey guys, let 'em through, these are our neighbors."
I like this place.

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Urban Farming

I like holidays. I remember as a kid, I looked forward to holidays and/or Sunday dinners for, well, mainly the food, but also the opportunity to see some faces that I didn't often get to see (Antoinette and Arlene!).  For the last decade or so, I’ve been the one to rally and organize Thanksgiving and Christmas - I'm a better cook than mom, and my sister could care less, so by default, they've ceded control.

With the addition of H, holidays became less of a joy and more of a source of stress.  Long story short, he detests holidays - wants nothing to do with family gatherings. And, after misinterpreting for years (I really thought he was kidding), I have come to find his dislike is real, and deep rooted. Five years later, we’re still trying to work out how that manages to mesh with my hyper–enthusiasm about all things holiday. To H’s credit: he gamely participates when I ask…so while he may never initiate, at least he likes and is comfortable my family, so there’s that. Can't really expect (but can hope) for much more!

 

Year after year, I plan for each holiday: decorations, food, all of it. Halloween  is no exception. Last year, A was just six months old.  And I, haggard and tired, figured I would avoid the rote and standard picture of my non-ambulatory child laying amongst the pumpkins…however, this year, he’s a walking, talking fool. So to the pumpkin patch we went!

 

Ironically, the site of Ardenwood farms is where a relative was seasonally employed long ago, back in the early to mid-70s. He lived on site, in a ramshackle structure located on the farm. Mom made nilaga as a gift, and I stood, shyly, on the sidelines while they all gabbed at hyperspeed in Tagalog about things my six year old brain couldn’t comprehend.

 

These days, Ardenwood is a small organic farm, just under 100 acres. H had no idea what that meant (the size of 100 acres) until I offered him the comparison that Golden Gate Park in San Francisco was just about 1000 acres.  Small farm, but everything that is grown is organic. One 18-lb pumpkin and a hay ride later, I can report: a good time was had by all.

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Dog days of summer pt 2

"I'm committed, without commitment we are nothing."
Read that in a blog recently. Had to steal it.
 
2011 has been a year of changes on all fronts: family, living situation, job...in all of that, we didn't manage to take any time off, unless taking sick days to cover the NINE illnesses I've suffered year to date counts. We'll be in LA in a few weeks, but driving 800 miles in 48 hours hardly constitutes a vacation...
 
2012 will be decidedly different. I'm committed, without commitment, we are nothing. To that end, we have three weeks of vacation booked in 2012, and am gunning for a fourth...yes, 2012 looks good.
 
Sis came down for the weekend, so we hit up a Musical Me class and the MBA. Backyard BBQ and a couple of good pinots...it's these kinds of single days in the midst of all this chaos...that give us the energy to keep keepin on....

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'Not a Foodie's' Thoughts on Food.

Recently, someone asked me for suggestions on where to eat in San Francisco...I started to go through my mental list of places I like, and realized that the food landscape in SF has changed a lot since I first arrived in 1990...Maybe I'm thinking about this because I'm two decades older now and am far more critical...meaning, I cannot stand most of these mid-range places that have entree prices of around $20 and a diverse but uninspired menu that features one or all of the following:

1. dayboat scallops
2. anything wood fired and / or claiming it is "to perfection"
3. a token vegetarian dish that treats a portabello like meat
4. gratuitous pork belly

Yes, I'm a curmudgeon and a stick in the mud, because I seek more out of my dining experience than just a LOUD PLACE to drink, where I might drink so much that I kill my taste buds and don't really care what I'm eating.

Anyway, here's a list of my initial thoughts on the matter:

The Sun Has Set On:
Kuletos – it takes mediocre to new heights (if that's possible).
House of Nanking – Two words: tourist trap. Two more words: food poisoning.
Farallon – This place was all the rage for foodies when it opened in the 90s. These days, it seems lost amongst the constant stream of stellar new entries into the SF restaurant scene.
Crustacean – I'm not sure that the sun ever rose on this place....this is a venue for special occasions…if you lack creativity.
Butterfly – gorgeous location, but to endure in the asian-fusion arena, you have to be much, much better than this.
Ana Mandara – dropped a c-note here and wondered WHY, WHY, WHY? Gorgeous bar, but really, it’s time to up the ante or get out of the game.
Palomino – lovely bar, love their happy hour, but the food is just meh…and has been meh for years.
Lulu's - Long time SF residents: when did you last eat here? I remember going here in 1995 on a Very Bad Date with a Very Boring Person. Maybe that has tainted my opinion of this place. Nahhhh.
Moose's - oh, it CLOSED!  So there you have it.

Still alive and kicking that I hope will continue to live...and kick:
Kokkari – one of the best restaurants in SF in this price range.
Piperade – same as above. And, a great place to hang out when it’s cold outside.
La Mediterranee – I rarely think about this place…but I’m always happy when I’m there and often wonder why I don’t eat there more often.
Cordon Bleu – Danger, danger! Place is not clean! However, the food is out-freakin-standing.
Park Chow - Me and the dog used to dine here every Wednesday. It’s fairly inexpensive, sports a great beer list, and is a lively, low key place that is perfect for dining alone on a weekday.
Blue Plate – Solid. Delicious. American. Food.
Absenthe – Rock the Coq Au Vin of love.
Café Jacqueline – I’ve never actually eaten here, but L and I have agreed for years: this would be a wonderful place for a clandestine meeting.
Fringale – Best French food in SF at the $$ level.
Boulevard – If you’re willing to kick down the cash for a place like Town Hall or Salt House, why not spend a teeny bit more and eat here? One of my long time favorites.

Places I was sorry to see leave/fade away
China Moon Café – Thank you, Barbara Tropp, for bringing fine fusion to SF. Love your cookbooks. RIP.
Square One – I have the Back to Square One cookbook in my arsenal as well. Too expensive for my pocketbook in its heyday (shut down in the mid 90s), but I did manage to indulge twice.
Postrio – So, when this shut down, I was so sad, as it was on my list to hit up ‘juuuust once more.’ Boo.
Little Paris Bakery – A little hole in the wall on Clement that served the best sandwiches for just $2. TWO dollars.
Hamburger Mary’s – I can’t explain it. Cocktails in milkshake containers, loud, obnoxious…probably had good food, but to be honest, when I would visit, I was too drunk to evaluate that. Just lots of good memories here.

I Don’t Understand All the Fuss About:
Burma Superstar - I mean, it's good, but is it worth a 60 minute wait?
Little Star Pizza - Deep dish -> deep stomach pains.
Infusion Lounge - I suppose it would be a good place for out of towners...I was just put off about everything about this place.
The Stinking Rose - or maybe there's no fuss, and it's just a tourist thing.

Speaking of garlic, posted are a few photos from the festival. It didn't suck. In fact, the food was pretty darn good!

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The Nanban Trade

Last week was supposed to be a fun one; H's grandma was scheduled to be at Mount Hermon all week, and the plan was to take turns driving up there so she could visit with Alon every day. I like H's grandma quite a bit, and was looking forward to having dedicated time getting to know her, and giving her the opportunity to spend time with Alon.

Unfortunately, Monday morning began with some derailing news that something terrible had happened to someone I've known for quite some time - someone I like and care for very much. In fact, just a few weeks from now we were scheduled to meet up at a karaoke and fried food/spam fest at a mutual friend's house (ya gotta be Asian to appreciate this, I think). I realized that the last time I actually talked (not sent a message or 'liked' something on Facebook) to this person was almost two years ago...and prior to that, well...she done gone and met a boy, fell in love, got married, had a kid, and let that kid turn 9!

I have too many friends like that, meaning, I just sort of let people go because I'm too...(insert a not so positive word here).

So, I think I am going to try just a little harder to get/stay in touch with people I care about and actually like (because there are people I do in fact care about but don't like...and while I wish them well, there's no need to create a relationship that need not exist!).

The good news is, the previously mentioned karaoke food fest is going to happen...and I fully intend to BE THERE so I can give my friend a hug.

Stay tuned.

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Cinco!

I remember the day when I began to hint that I was interested in H. I was out with A, discussing the insanity of some of the discussions H and I had about his ex ('I THINK he's joking when he says he wants to feed cut up pieces of her current bf to her'). Despite that declaration of violence and him *admitting* he was a very angry child, he seemed genuinely sweet, and amenable to settling down. To quote Richard Thompson, 'a man open to persuasion'.

I told A that day, "I don't know who could possibly want to dump this guy; rather, you just kinda want to sit him down, and make him a nice sandwich."

5 years ago today, at the Hidden Vine, H announced to me (probably more for his own benefit than mine), "this isn't another chippy thing for you."

Me: "Of course not!"

He: "Ok, so like, this is for the long haul, for real. Pinky swear."

(for real, we really did pinky swear)
 
Random pictures posted.

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